Happy 3 months Otto!!

I found this from a few months ago. I thought I would share.

Otto is six weeks old today. A few items of note:

(1) Exhausting: I never knew that I would covet 2-hours of uninterrupted sleep. I do now.
(2) Hard work: Keeping Otto content, fed, etc. is a constant struggle. Sometimes I'm emotionally equipped to handle it, other times I'm not. I don't know how single moms and dads do it because, generally, when I'm not equipped I can hand him off.
(3) Naps: Everyone and every book says to sleep when he's asleep. Initially, we were not very good at this as it gave us quiet time to hang out, do errands, chores, etc. Sleeping when he's asleep is necessary, especially as he gets older and his awake times are slightly longer.
(4) Breast feeding/pumping: If you're significant other is doing this, do NOT let them sleep for 8 hours straight thinking that you're being nice. I was being nice and letting her rest, but we paid for it later in the day when, due to stress of trying to keep up with him, her milk went dry. No good deed goes unpunished. My punishment was a cry-fest. Good times.
(5) Vocal: He's getting more vocal every day. Initially, it was just little grunts when he was unhappy. At about 4 weeks, he discovered his voice and his lungs. The result 3-2.5 hour screamfests over a 9-day span.
(6) Sometimes nothing is wrong. He just wants to cry. One of my books said it's his form of exercise. Check the holes, if there is no input or output, he seems comfortable (both closing and temp-wise) it could be nothing.
(7) It's not personal. The crying. The fussiness. Etc. Generally it has nothing to do with me. That's been a huge lesson to learn.
(8) It's not a competition. This was a harder lesson for me to learn. Cheryl and I play different roles in Otto's life. Sometimes he wants his mom and no matter what I do, it won't work. That's ok.

Crayola's new line...

Look at him. He's Mexican brown. Have you gotten a DNA test?
Uhhhh....what?! C [the mother] is right here. Beside me. She can hear you.
So anyway...
[later]
So Mexican brown, huh?!
Yeah. A color from the non-politically correct Crayola set.

Otto meet AC/DC...

Otto Rocks!!

Bovine Rudders

I'm a cow, I have rudders. So you can move through water? Yes, like cows do.

The soothing power of Gaga

WAAAAAAAA!
Why is he crying?
WAAAAAAAAA!
I don't know. I've checked everything. Diaper, food, nothing.
WAAAAAAAAA!
How do we get him to stop?
WAAAAAAAA!
Music?
WAAAAAAAAA!
Sure, try anything.
WAAAAAAAAA!
Baby Einstein?
WAAAAAAAAAA!
Nope, something else! Acoustic guitar?
WAAAAAAAAA!!
[10 mins later] Lady Gaga?
Sure, try anything! Wait? He stopped?
Whatever works.
I don't know. I might have to draw a line somewhere...

The hole realization...

I'm pretty sure his milk hole will need some input.
Hahaha, what?
Otto has three holes. The milk hole, pee hole and poo hole. At this stage, he's, generally, upset because either excessive output has occurred from one of them or the milk hole needs input. The milk hole and pee hole get the most use.
Wow, you've really given this some thought.
Technically, the milk hole doubles as both a milk and cry hole. So you could say he has four holes. That could be confusing though...
You may need more sleep.

Quotes from the first three weeks

His name is still Otto, right? Yeah, why? I named my Madden QB Otto after him and don't want to change it. Oh.

Ewww, why is there a booger on my boob? Nursing is a dirty job.

I'm torturing our child clipping his nails while he's fisting them. Umm, what?

When he came out what were your first thoughts? He looks like Violet from 'Willa Wonka and the Chocolate Factory' after she started swelling like a blueberry, so not a good impression initially.

I didn't want to say anything, but we've been talking and your kid kind of looks Asian. He has jaundice. Ohhh.

Why is he screaming? It looks like he's pulling his own hair. I hope this is accidental and not a preview of things to come.

You better keep an eye on him. That kid looks big enough to walk outside and hail a cab.

Hey, I'm not totally versed on baby genes, but are babies like kittens? Will his eyes remain blue or are they going to turn dark brown?

No fair. He has more hair than me.

Please note, this is the only time in his life when he can have a double chin and it is "cute".

You better get that kid a cheeseburger on the way home-- that is seriously the biggest newborn I've ever seen!